Resilience in children
If we want our children to face life’s difficulties with strength, it is essential to build a secure attachment and educate them to be resilient; for this, our example is fundamental, not to overprotect them and above all, to believe in them.
It is not about preventing them from falling, but about teaching them to get up, and for this, we have to trust that they can. Of course, it is not about exposing them to dangers or aggressive environments “to make them stronger,” fortunately, we are not in Sparta. Providing security and protection is necessary.
One important thing we can ask children when they have a setback if we want them to learn to build resilience is what you can learn from this? What can you get the sound out of this that has happened?
Teaching children to relativize and see mistakes and setbacks as an opportunity to learn and improve will guide them on the path of resilience, but not from the denial of their emotions, but from empathy towards what they feel and their emotional world, conveying our confidence that they can face adversity and overcome it.
How do people deal with complex life-changing events? How do you react to traumatic events such as the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a complex illness, a terrorist attack, and other catastrophic situations?
Generally, people manage to adapt over time to situations that dramatically change their lives and increase their state of tension. What allows them to adapt? It is essential to have developed resilience, the ability to adapt and overcome adversity. This is learned in a process that requires time and effort and commits people to take a series of steps.
This essay is intended to help readers take their path to resilience. Provides information on resilience and some factors that affect people to cope with their problems. Much of the information provided focuses on developing and using a personal strategy to improve resilience.
What do we understand by resilience?
Resilience is the process of adapting well to adversity, trauma, tragedy, threat, or significant sources of stress, such as family or personal relationship problems, serious health problems, or stressful work or financial situations. It means to “bounce” from a challenging experience as if one were a ball or a spring.
Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. People commonly demonstrate resilience. An example is people’s response in the United States to the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, and their efforts to rebuild their lives.
Being resilient does not mean that the person does not experience difficulties or anguish. Emotional pain and sadness are joint in people who have suffered great adversity or trauma in their lives. The road to resilience is probably full of obstacles that affect our emotional state.
Resilience is not a characteristic that people have or do not have. It includes behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed by anyone.
Some factors in resilience
A combination of factors helps build resilience. Many studies show that one of the most critical factors in resilience is having loving and supportive relationships within and outside the family. Relationships that emanate love and trust that provide role models and offer encouragement and security help to affirm the resilience of the person.
Other factors associated with resilience are:
The ability to make realistic plans and follow the steps necessary to carry them out.
A positive view of themselves, and confidence in their strengths and abilities.
Communication and problem-solving skills.
The ability to handle intense feelings and impulses.
All of these are factors that people can develop on their own.
ways to build resilience
Build relationships: It’s essential to build good relationships with close family, friends, and other important people in your life. Accepting help and support from people who love and listen to you builds resilience. Some people find that being active in community groups, faith-based organizations, and other local groups provides social support and help them have hope. Helping others in need can also be of benefit to you.
Avoid viewing crises as insurmountable obstacles: You cannot prevent stressful events from occurring, but you can change how you interpret and react to them. Try to look beyond the present and think that in the future things will improve. See if there are any subtle ways you can feel better while dealing with difficult situations.
Accept that change is part of life: You may not be able to achieve specific goals due to an adverse situation. Accepting circumstances that you cannot change can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.
Move toward your goals — Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly that allows you to move toward your goals, even if it seems like a minor accomplishment. Instead of focusing on tasks that you can’t seem to accomplish, ask yourself about the things you can accomplish today that help you move in the direction you want to go.
Take decisive action: In adverse situations, act to the best of your ability. Taking decisive action is better than ignoring problems and tensions and wishing they would go away.
Look for opportunities to discover yourself: Often, as a result of their struggle with adversity, people can learn something about themselves and feel that they have grown in some way on a personal level. Many people who have experienced tragedies and difficult situations have expressed an improvement in managing their relationships, an increase in personal strength even when they feel vulnerable, the feeling that their self-esteem has improved, a more developed spirituality, and a greater appreciation of life.
Cultivate a positive view of yourself — Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.
Keep things in perspective: Even when faced with harrowing events, consider the stressful situation in a larger context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid enlarging the event out of its proportion.
Never lose hope — An optimistic outlook allows you to expect good things to happen in your life. Try to visualize what you want instead of worrying about what you fear.
Take care of yourself: Pay attention to your needs and wants. Take an interest in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps you keep your mind and body ready for situations that require resilience.
Additional ways to build resilience may help. For example, some people write about their deepest thoughts and feelings related to the traumatic experience or other stressful events in their lives. Meditation and spiritual practices help some people build relationships and restore hope.
The key is to identify activities that could help you build a personal strategy for building resilience.